Thoughtful Thursday # 10 – Nervousness

What makes you nervous?

PEOPLE   Where to begin.  I like being around people but, if I don’t remind myself I am too old to think this way, I can have a running dialog going in my head of did I say the wrong thing, did I talk too loud, or too much.  Did I offend or anger someone?  Was that blog post really a good idea?  What will they think of me?   Will I be judged good enough?   I think you get the picture.

Age and self-acceptance have greatly reduced these kind of nerves in me.  But given the actions of many younger people they either were not born with, or conditioned to harbor such worries.  Was I born with this certain type of  temperament?   Or could it be that self-esteem did not factor very largely into my upbringing while achievements and meeting the expectations of adult authority figures did?

BREAKING  or LOSING STUFF  I get a surge of nervousness when I break or lose items.  The anxiety may be grief over a thing that is after all just a thing or it can be the fear of telling someone about it (at this point in life that would mainly be my spouse.)  I worry that the person will be angry, even though I know I am an adult and strong enough to deal with the anger.  I just do not want to need to.

HEIGHTS  Have you marveled at the clear staircases in Apple Stores?  I have to look straight ahead and remind myself mentally that I indeed will to OK to go up or worse down them.   I will have a queasy feeling running through me just the same and a great sense of relief to be on level ground afterwards .

Have you enjoyed a view from an observation deck or tower?  I have, yet I have needed to breath deeply to avoid shaking if it does not have a thick, solid railing, or if it is breezy.  And I take baby steps keeping my feet as much as possible in contact with the flooring beneath me.

Is parachuting or cliff diving on you “bucket list”?   Not mine.  Although a tandem sky dive if I had a pro I trusted is slightly intriguing — but if it was really offered to me I think I would make an argument for spending the fee on something else.  Cliff diving or budging jumping?  Absolutely not!

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2 thoughts on “Thoughtful Thursday # 10 – Nervousness

  1. I find your list so interesting. You pick up and go traveling all over which takes boldness and courage. These things might make you nervous, but you sure have the skills to fake it through.

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